


In the End

by Nagarose453



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, How do tags work anyway?, Mild Blood and Gore, Pidge has a potty mouth, Sometime in Season 7-ish?, idk what else to put, nothing super drastic or anything, should I mention that there's a bit of gore and violence?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-07-23 20:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20014258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nagarose453/pseuds/Nagarose453
Summary: The Mission failed. The Green Paladin was captured. Her own pride led to her own fall. Will she remain at Zarkon's mercy, or will she return to the Paladins safe and sound?





	1. Pidge's Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> So amid a bunch of panic attacks, I started this glorious fic.
> 
> I've read so much really bad Zidge fics lately it'd make your head spin. (and a few good ones, like holy crow guys!)
> 
> Anyway, this idea has been sitting in my brain for a while, and I might as well type it while I have a chance.
> 
> Read and enjoy, because shit is about to get interesting.

Light burned Pidge’s vision as she attempted to figure out what happened. The room slowly came into focus, as her brain registered that she was restrained on some kind of table. She allowed herself a short groan of confusion as she noted the room was seemingly barren aside from a small table to her right. 

“Your majesty, the Paladin is awake.” A soft voice muttered from across the room. 

“Excellent…” Came a familiar chuckle. Pidge barely had the sense to register the second voice as that of the Galra Emperor, Zarkon. The first voice registered shortly after as that of one of Zarkon’s commanders: Sendak. 

“Where… Am I?” Pidge asked with a groan, her mouth felt dry and though she had never been hungover in her life, she certainly felt as if she was.

“Surely you can figure it out, Paladin.” Zarkon chuckled as he approached. “You are aboard Galra Central Command, dear Paladin.” Pidge squinted against the pounding in her temples.

“The quiznak did you just call me?” Pidge asked groggily. Zarkon chuckled softly as the table Pidge was bound to began to tip forward until she found herself in an upright position facing Zarkon and Sendak. 

“No wonder the Green Lion chose you, you are the spitting personality of your predecessor, Trigel.” Zarkon mused. 

“Get fucked.” Pidge snapped, her face contorted in anger.

“Should I give her another dose, your majesty?” Sendak asked as he rounded behind Pidge, her ear catching the sound of metal clinking against metal. 

“No, I need her conscious… But I do need her more docile. Give her a quarter measure of Gemax, that ought to soften her mood.” Zarkon grinned as Sendak picked up a syringe from the small tray he had been looking through before he approached Pidge. 

“You can get fucked, too, you fucking bitch.” Pidge snarled as Sendak ran his flesh hand up the side of her neck, twining his fingers in her hair, sharply pulling her hair away from her neck. Pidge gave a snarl of anger before he brought his robotic arm around to jab a needle into the side of her neck earning a short cry of pain from the green paladin. She gave Sendak a murderous glare as he released her hair and pulled the needle painfully from her neck.

“Now, Paladin, you're going to give your friends a nice little message.” Zarkon chuckled, seconds before Pidge gave a short scream of pain, convulsing against her restraints. “Now, now, don't get excited, Paladin. Save your pain for your companions.” Zarkon chuckled as he went to an interface and after a few seconds, a communications window appeared in front of Pidge. Pidge stared at the communications window until the bridge of the castle of Lions came into focus, the other three Paladins along with Allura and Coran were glaring from the screen. “Greetings Princess, Paladins.” Zarkon gave a nod as Pidge tried to struggle only for pain to course through her, ripping another scream from her.

“What do you want from us, Zarkon?” Shiro’s voice snapped as Pidge dared to look up. 

“I merely thought you would like to see your companion, say hello, paladin.” Zarkon stepped aside so that the others could see Pidge. She had been stripped of her armor and wore the simple clothes of a Galran Prison Inmate. 

“I already told you to get Fucked!” Pidge snapped before another scream escaped her.

“Now, Paladin, the more you fight, the more pain you will cause yourself. Simply greet your companions like a good girl.” Zarkon chuckled as he passed behind Pidge. She struggled to keep Zarkon in her line of sight. 

“Suck my dick, ass- AHHHH!” Pidge ended in a scream that was louder than the one before it.

“What are you doing to her? Stop it!” Came the voice of Hunk through Pidge’s haze of pain.

“She is supposed to be giving you a special message, but clearly, she has lost her manners.” Zarkon gave a faux sigh of impatience. Zarkon took that moment to grab Pidge by the hair and jab a second needle into the opposite side of her neck as the first, tearing another scream of agony from Pidge. After removing the needle, he threw the now empty syringe to Sendak. “Now, Paladin, if you don't mind, tell them how comfortable my hospitality has been.” Zarkon grinned as he lifted Pidge's face by the chin with a single finger. A blank, almost bored, look crossed her face.

“I said: Get. Fucked.” Pidge gasped, followed by another scream.

“That's not what I asked you to say, paladin.” Zarkon sighed.

“Stop it, Zarkon!” Shouted Lance. Zarkon chuckled.

“If I need to, I'll give her as many measures of Gemax as I feel are required to make her docile. You're up to four measures, Paladin, I don't feel like killing you just yet. Why don't we try again…” Zarkon gave a side smirk to Pidge who was gasping softly in pain. 

“No.” Came the soft, simple answer. Pidge gave a grimace as she gasped softly. “You’ll have to kill me before I answer to the likes of you…” Pidge gave a side look to Zarkon who merely chuckled.

“Much better. And here I thought I was going to have to kill you.” Zarkon mused.

“Zarkon, what are you trying to prove?” Allura asked staring at Pidge in horror. Zarkon gave another chuckle.

“Take a good look, Princess, see how strong willed and determined your Paladin is? Once I'm done with her, I'll return her broken, shattered, useless. With one less paladin, you will be powerless.” Zarkon shot a look to Pidge who suddenly seemed emotionless, staring at absolutely nothing in particular. “Mmnnn, I see that it took a little longer than normal for the Gemax to take effect. It doesn't matter, perhaps she has learned her lesson, that Gemax will cause her pain the more worked up she gets.” Zarkon shrugged nonchalantly as he allowed his finger to fall from her chin, causing Pidge's head to fall against her chest.

“PIDGE! PIDGE, SAY SOMETHING!” Shouted Shiro.

“I'm… Fine… Don't worry… About… Me…” Pidge gasped softly, “He… Can… Can torture… Me all… He wants… I'd… Rather die…” Pidge seemed to be fighting for breath. 

“Now, now, Paladin. Don't get so comfortable with that idea.” Zarkon gave the other Paladins a grin. “I have plans for you, plans you'll be dying to tell your fellow Paladins when you finally go back to them.” 

“You're a fucking coward for hurting a woman, Zarkon!” Lance yelled. Zarkon only gave Lance’s image a smile.

“And you think I have harmed her, Paladin? You wound me. Other than forcing Gemax into her system, I haven't laid a finger on her, have I hurt you, Paladin?” Zarkon gave a mocking look of confusion to Pidge. Pidge looked up, her eyes clouded with pain.

“Kiss my ass, mother fucker.” Pidge convulsed against her restraints with a loud scream before her head fell back against her chest, her gasps soft as if she had lost consciousness. Zarkon sighed.

“I suppose we need to break her of that attitude, first and foremost. At any rate, the next time you see your precious Paladin, she should be in a better mood and much better behaved.” Zarkon then reached over to end the transmission, smirking as the Paladins were left in a state of horror at what they had just witnessed. “Commander Sendak, take the Paladin to her cell. Once she is conscious, bring her to me. I have a special round of torture for her.” Zarkon chuckled before he left the room. Sendak frowned upon the exit of the Galra Emperor. He approached Pidge carefully, confirming quite easily that she had, indeed, passed out.

With great care, Sendak slowly unbound the Green Paladin, causing her to fall forward into his chest. He noted just how young Pidge looked, as well as how familiar the girl seemed as he gathered her into his arms. 

“You’re the one who reprogrammed all those sentries and that Drone, aren’t you?” Sendak asked with a chuckle, knowing full well she wouldn’t answer him, “It is quite a shame that you are a Paladin, you would be quite useful to the Galra.” Sendak sighed before he left the room. Halfway down a corridor, a soft moan issued from Pidge.

“What… The fuck… Happened, Lance…” came the groggy inquiry. Sendak paused outside a cell at the midpoint of the corridor.

“You may still be under the influence of gemax, Paladin. It would be wise to save your strength until it wears off.” Sendak said with a frown. Pidge’s eyes were still closed and she looked as if she were asleep. Sendak rose a brow realizing that she was asleep and that his words fell on deaf ears. Shifting Pidge slightly, Sendak tapped the communicator in his ear. 

“Is she awake already, Sendak?” Came the humored voice of Zarkon.

“No, your majesty. I just thought of a way to disorient the Paladin. Why not place her in a guest chamber instead of a cell. It would be easy to fit a cell door on a guest chamber and employ security measures so that she doesn’t escape.” Sendak suggested. 

“That… Is an excellent idea, Sendak. Please make preparations while she sleeps. Keep her under if need be, but use Hermas sparingly.” Zarkon ordered.

“Of course, your majesty.” Sendak gave a grin down at Pidge before he turned on his heel.

“One more thing, Commander.” Zarkon’s voice in his ear made Sendak pause mid step. “Assign a guard, possibly Commander Thace, to the Paladin. Last thing we need is to have her escape. Furthermore, spread the word that I will not tolerate anyone laying a hand on the Paladin. It is my right and privilege to provide her torture, personally.” With that Zarkon’s chuckle cut off as Sendak sighed. He then proceeded down the corridor the direction he had come from. 

Within a few minutes, Sendak arrived at the guest quarters, after he explained to a few other Galra what needed to be done he choose a rather small room for Pidge. The others looked on in curiosity as he laid her gently on the bed.

“Are you sure this is wise, Commander?” Asked a tech officer as he peered curiously at Pidge’s unconscious form.

“It is by order of Emperor Zarkon that she is here. Now, summon Thace, brief him, and advise him not to screw up.” With that Sendak left the room. The remaining Galra merely looked at one another in confusion, muttering among themselves before a voice interrupted them.

“What are you all doing here? Shouldn’t you all be working?” Asked a rather smooth voice. The tech officer who had spoken to Sendak looked up.

“Prince Lotor! We are sorry, we got distracted by Sendak’s orders.” The officer gave a salute.

“I see. And what orders could possibly have you in the bedchamber of a guest room?” Lotor asked, raising a brow. The officers hesitated.

“Your father caught the Green Paladin, your highness, we are to fit this room with a cell door while the Paladin sleeps. If she wakes fully, we are supposed to notify Emperor Zarkon who will let us know if she is to be taken to him for torture or if we are to give her an eighth of a measure of hermas.” A second tech officer explained. Lotor silently pushed past the officers before he caught sight of Pidge.

“This is but a child, surely my father has the wrong person.” Lotor said turning to face the officers.

“We all thought the same thing, according to Sendak, she is the Paladin. This is the Paladin who keeps reprogramming our drones and sentries. She’s as deadly as she is beautiful, possibly she is more dangerous than any of the other Paladins combined. Her prowess in battle combined with her intelligence is enough to make any man jealous.” The second tech officer stated. Lotor gave a hum of interest.

“This frail thing, dangerous? I think my father is being overly cautious. However, I suppose you have orders, please see to them. I may have to visit once the Paladin is awake.” With that Lotor left the room leaving the Tech soldiers staring in silence.


	2. Communications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She swore to be a paladin through better or worse, now it's getting worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist posting this ASAP, because I love the reactions of horror from the other paladins in this chapter. That and I'm a sick individual who likes to see Pidge cry.

Two movements later, Pidge pounded on the door to the room she was given. Even though she was covered in bruises and cuts, her determination to escape hadn’t wavered. 

“Paladin, please calm yourself before you anger the Emperor, and he decides to torture you again even though you were granted a day for recovery.” Came the voice of Commander Thace. Thace’s constant presence had become a norm for Pidge. Usually he was the one who woke her bright and early, dragging her literally kicking and screaming like a feral animal to the torture room, he was also the one who would carry her unconscious form back to her room after Zarkon was tired of putting up with Pidge’s attitude.

“I want out! You can’t keep me here forever, you bastard!” Pidge screamed as she scraped the raw tips of her fingers against the metal door in a rather feeble attempt at making it open.

“As soon as you give Zarkon what he wants, he will set you free. As amusing as your interrogations have been, Paladin, Zarkon will stop at nothing for information.” Thace sighed. Without warning the door to the room opened before Thace entered the small room, gently closing the door behind him. Pidge gulped, noting he gave her zero opportunity to escape. “In your case, Paladin, Zarkon is willing to break you if you don’t talk. You have been beaten, you have been raped, you have been forced into unconsciousness. Even though I applaud your strength, I am well aware that even your will has limits.” Thace‘s tone had become soft, almost fatherly. 

“Why would you care what I have gone through?!” Pidge growled, “I am a paladin, I will die before I do anything on Zarkon’s behalf.” Thace gave another sigh.

“How well can you keep a secret Paladin?” Pidge gave a snort.

“How many times a day do I tell Zarkon to get fucked?” Pidge returned. Thace gave a hum of amusement. 

“Fair point, Paladin, let it be known between the two of us that I am not your enemy. I am actually part of a secret organization that is willing to overthrow Zarkon to restore the balance in the universe.” Thace said quietly. Pidge gave a click of interest. 

“What’s this got to do with the fact you take orders from the mother fucker?” Pidge countered, folding her arms over her chest. 

“It’s a ruse, one that I unfortunately must keep up. If you notice, Paladin, I have not laid a finger on you other than taking you to and from interrogations. I have not physically injured you, and I do not participate in your torture. It will take careful planning, but my organization is making preparations to reunite you and your fellow Paladins.” Thace continued softly, “Until then, you may want to consider doing yourself a favor and stop struggling during interrogations. Zarkon enjoys watching you struggle and enjoys your pain.” Pidge looked away, she had streaks of dried blood on her face, a rather large impressive bruise just under her right eye, and several small fresh cuts and bruises that shaped the imprint of Zarkon’s knuckles across her cheeks and jaws. 

“I can’t stop fighting… I can’t give in…” Pidge mumbled more to herself than to Thace. “I don’t have the information he wants anyway. If he wants the black lion so much, why didn’t he kidnap Shiro or even Keith? I could talk to no end about Green and how wonderful she is. How adaptable and beautiful her machinery is… but I don’t know anything about Black, at all. Shiro and Keith know Black better, and neither one will let me near her with even a screwdriver in hand.” Pidge frowned at the floor. “I don’t know what he wants me to tell him, and I don’t think even I can convince him that I don’t know anything.” Thace sighed as he pulled a small jar from a pocket inside his breastplate.

“This isn’t much, but it’s all I was allowed to bring you. It’s infused with quintessence, it will help you heal your cuts and surface wounds instantly, however it’s useless on your bruises. I’m also allowed to escort you to bathe, but other than that you’re confined to your quarters.” Thace handed the jar to Pidge, noting that she warily opened it to find it was full of a sparkling gel like substance. “It’s medicine, Paladin, it’s all Zarkon permitted me to bring you.” Pidge gave Thace a look of distrust as she capped the jar and frowned.

“Why would Zarkon care if I tend to my injuries? Or even bathe? I’m a prisoner, not a guest.” Pidge frowned as she looked to her hands. She couldn’t think of a single spot on her body that hadn’t seen the crack of a whip, the sting of a blade, or even rubbed raw from struggling against some kind of restraint. Without looking in a mirror she knew her neck bore several puncture wounds from the various injections she had been given. 

“I would take the opportunity, Paladin. A chance to regain your strength is rare in your circumstance. If you would like, I can take you now and you can rest for the remainder of the quintant. You're fighting it, but even I can tell you are exhausted and could use this reprieve.” Thace advised, taking out a pair of plasma cuffs, dangling them by his index finger. Pidge grunted in annoyance, holding out her hands with her wrists together, knowing at this point it was useless to resist. 

Pidge allowed Thace to cuff her wrists, wincing in pain as the cuffs rubbed against her already cracked and bleeding skin. She sighed as Thace frowned at the small jar in her hand. 

“Keep that jar hidden, paladin. Please follow me, I would rather not have to throw you over my shoulder.” Thace gave a short chuckle making Pidge shoot him a glare. 

“Fine, but know if I run, I am prepared to fight. Even if I am exhausted, I will fight to my last breath.” Pidge growled at the Galra man. Thace gave a sigh before he grabbed Pidge by the waist and hefted her over his shoulder with ease. 

“You should know by now, that I am attempting to keep you alive and I will not tolerate you putting yourself in unnecessary danger.” Thace grumbled.

“You can’t say it wasn’t worth the try.” Pidge grumbled in return. To Thace’s surprise Pidge didn’t even attempt to struggle as he carried her from the room, and down several corridors before he set her on her feet. 

“Before I take you to freshen up, I dare say that you might want to contact your fellow Paladins?” Thace asked. Pidge perked up a bit. 

“How? I mean I can encrypt a connection to the others, it’s not like it’s hard, but how would I be able to transmit without getting caught by Zarkon?” Pidge asked with a distrusting frown. Thace merely reached over and knocked twice on the door to his left. The door opened to admit both Thace and Pidge, closing quickly behind them. Thace reached over and took the cuffs from Pidge’s wrists, causing her to rub the raw flesh with soft hisses of pain. 

“Thace, are you insane?” Hissed a familiar female voice as a familiar Galra woman approached Pidge. 

“K-K-Krolia?” Pidge stammered softly. The Galra woman looked Pidge over.

“As glad as I am that you’re alive, Paladin, Thace should not have brought you here.” Krolia replied before her look softened.

“Can I contact the other Paladins? Please? I just need to see them and let them know that I’m fine.” Pidge pleaded. 

“Just for a few doboshes, Paladin, that’s all we can afford.” Krolia sighed as she led the way to a small Altean interface. Once at the interface, Pidge tapped a few keys before a communications window appeared displaying the bridge of the castle of Lions. 

“Guys! It’s Pidge!” Came Hunk’s voice as the Paladins came into focus. 

“Pidge! Jesus you look like shit!” Came Lance’s response.

“Look, I don’t have a lot of time, I just want you to know that I’m a little beat up, but I’m okay.” Pidge hesitated for a moment as she noticed that someone else was on the screen that hadn’t been during her last transmission. “Matt?” Pidge asked softly.

“Katie, what the hell happened to you?” Matt blurt out in shock.

“I spend at least seven hours a day being interrogated, Matt. I’m bound to have a few bumps and scrapes. Listen, Zarkon is obsessed with the Black Lion. That’s all he ever asks me about. I legit don’t have answers, and I refuse to give him answers. He wants the Black Lion back at whatever the cost. I need you all to find Central command and bust Green out. You found Matt, Matt will be a perfect replacement.” Pidge hesitated, swallowing to keep herself in check.

“Pidge…” Lance trailed off as Pidge shook her head.

“Given how brutal my interrogations are getting, I doubt I’m going to make it out of here alive. Matt, just do me a favor and tell mom and dad that I love them, and tell Mom that I’m sorry I joined the Garrison without her knowledge.” Pidge gave a barely audible sob. “I want all of you to promise to take care of Matt. If for some reason I make it out alive, I’ll treat you all to a night out somehow. And I want you all to know one last thing...” Pidge gave a pained look at the others on her screen.

“What, Pidge?” Hunk asked softly.

“Please… Know that I love you all more than anything, and I’m sorry for all of this.” With that Pidge reached forward and ended the transmission before she burst into tears. 

Meanwhile on the castle of lions, everyone was staring at the now blank screen in horror.

“She’s giving up… Honest to god, Zarkon said he would make her give up and he did it.” Lance shook his head, his face slack in shock.

“No! We have to bust her out!” Shouted Hunk angrily.

“And how do you think we’re even going to get close to Galra Central Command? Pidge never finished cloaking for the other Lions, just Green.” Shiro snapped. 

“You guys have to do something, anything. Please, that’s my little sister.” Matt chimed in with a look of heartbreak on his face, “We can’t let Katie do this, she’s barely even seventeen…” Matt sounded hopeless as he looked between the Paladins.

“We know, Matt. Believe me, we know. Just seeing what they’ve done to her makes me angry. Very angry. Judging by how quick that transmission was, it was more than likely planned for us to see her in that condition. She also didn’t allow us any time to give her any information, her determination to stay ignorant and not have any information to hand over is both a smart but stupid maneuver.” Coran spoke up, “Pidge is risking everything, simply because she knows that we are the universe’s only hope.” Allura frowned.

“There must be something we can do, Coran… Pidge has been the one who has helped us through several hardships as a team, keeping us unified, especially since Keith left.” Allura paused, “Wait, that’s it! Shiro, do you remember how to contact the Blades of Marmora?” Allura asked turning to meet the gaze of a rather shocked Shiro.

“What do the Blades have to do with anything?” Asked Shiro.

“Allura is right, if anybody can get to Pidge it’s Keith and the rest of the Blades.” Lance offered with a smile. Shiro frowned.

“There’s a possible chance that the Blades won’t be able to help, but it’s worth a shot.” Shiro approached the center of the bridge and typed something on the interface. Within a few moments the face of Kolivan appeared on the screen, a frown on the Galra Man’s face. 

“Kolivan, it’s good to see you… We have some business to discuss with the Blades.” Allura said slowly as she approached where Shiro was standing. 

“If it has anything to do with the Green Paladin, we are aware of the situation. She is currently assigned to three Blade members. Thace, Krolia, and Kalrepth. Zarkon himself assigned Thace to Paladin Pidge as her guard for the first half of a quintant, Kalrepth was assigned by Thace to take the second half. At current, from Thace’s report, Zarkon is getting far more violent with the Green Paladin’s ignorance on the information he wants. I admit, it takes courage and perseverance to stay alive this long. However, for your Paladins sake, we are trying to stage an escape as quickly as possible. I will spare detail but Paladin Pidge has endured varga of torture at the hands of Zarkon himself. At this rate he may start injuring her far more critically than he already has.” Kolivan paused.

“Why don’t these people help her!” Matt yelled in anger.

“I’m sorry, Kolivan, that would be Pidge’s brother, Matt. He is just as worried about Pidge as we are.” Allura explained quickly. Kolivan sighed.

“As are we all. According to Thace, your Paladin has no regard for her own safety and has the mouth of a Balmerian Miner. While we can all admire her tenacity, she is doing more harm for her cause than good. Despite being Human, Paladin Pidge, has shown remarkable strength, but even Thace has noted that she is starting to lose her will. As I said before, we are working to get her back to you, however as a former prisoner yourself, Shiro, you know what Zarkon and his men are capable of.” Kolivan stated with a frown. 

“Is there a chance something could happen to Pidge before we can get her back?” Shiro asked. 

“It is unfortunately possible. Quite possible if your Paladin can’t learn to control her mouth. She may be brave and intelligent, but she’s setting herself up to die if she continues.” Kolivan sighed, “We will update you once we have figured out a rather fail proof plan of extraction. Until then, I will have Thace update you every movement with a full status report on her well being.”


	3. Paying the Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torture has a price... This time, the price is heavier than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sick. If this chapter sucks, I blame my s/o who got me sick.

Several Phoebes later, Thace frowned at the Paladins on the communications screen.

“Correct. She has stopped talking completely.” Thace said shortly with a sigh, “This makes a full phoeb that she hasn’t spoken for. The only sound she makes during an interrogation is screams from what Zarkon does to her. She won’t talk, she won’t sob, nothing. It’s beginning to irritate Zarkon, to be honest.” 

“Have the Blades decided on a date to move yet? It’s been over a decaphoeb since Pidge was captured to begin with.” Shiro asked. Thace nodded. 

“Next movement, third quintant, fifth Varga. Only members of the Blade are involved in this mission. It will depend on how responsive Pidge will be to receiving help. She seemed close to Krolia and Krolia can’t even get her to nervously giggle. It may be safe to say that your Paladin may have finally lost all will to live. As I told you before, Shiro, Zarkon’s men are ruthless. Zarkon himself is no exception. Out of all the Paladins, I reported to you privately in detail what has happened to Pidge since she arrived. I have given you details of her torture that she’s begged me to never tell. I can tell you now that there is a price for enduring such torture. Pidge is paying that price, unfortunately.” Thace hesitated. 

“No. Why didn’t you say anything before?” Shiro snapped, causing the others to stare at him.

“She’s done her best to keep it hidden, even Zarkon has no idea. I happened to be the one who discovered the truth when she had a moment of weakness. She’s convinced that once the others find out the truth, they will shun and condemn her. I have done what I can to soothe her fears, but it is best for you to find out face to face. We haven’t told her that a plan is set to get her home, it’s doubtful she would believe it anyway.” Thace frowned, “I must apologize, it is nearly time for changing of the guard, and I’m sure you would appreciate me checking on her. I will contact you if anything happens between now and next movement.” With that Thace ended the transmission with a sigh. Krolia looked at the Commander. 

“Be honest, Thace, How is she really doing?” She asked softly. Thace sighed.

“Not well. She’s stopped talking, she barely struggles, there’s no light left in her gaze. As far as we’re aware, Zarkon has no idea that Paladin Pidge is expecting a kit of royal Galra descent. However, her pregnancy has seen many complications. She has nearly died from over exposure to many different drugs developed specifically for torture. At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if her labor is difficult or that something happens to her kit. From our calculations she isn’t due for another two phoebes. But, then again, she may go into labor early with the amount of strain her body is going through. Only time will tell, Krolia.” Thace frowned, “I must get going.” Thace then made his exit. 

Back on the Castle of Lions, Shiro had begun to swear in earnest.

“Shiro, what was Thace talking about? Is Pidge going to be okay?” Matt asked with a panicked look.

“Yeah, you’ve done nothing but cuss since the transmission ended, and why do we have to wait for next week?!” Came Lance’s query.

“As you know, the Blades are known for precision. If we are going to rely on them to get Pidge home safely, then we have to rely on their timing.” Allura hesitated before she looked to Shiro.

“Pidge has been tortured in ways no seventeen year old should have been tortured. As far as information Thace has provided, I know, personally, what Pidge is going through. Don’t be surprised if Pidge never speaks again, and don’t be surprised if she isn’t alone when she returns.” Shiro hesitated making Allura gasp.

“Shiro! You’re not serious! Surely even Zarkon isn’t cruel enough-” Allura was cut off by a look from Shiro.

“He is, and already has. He, at one point, has even overdosed her into unconsciousness. It’s happened multiple times, and there’s nothing we could have done to stop it. According to Thace, the harder she fought, the more he tortured her. It’s gotten to the point she stopped fighting, Allura. You and I both know why Pidge would just suddenly shut down.” Shiro went silent with a scowl, “I knew she couldn’t take on those commanders, yet I let her try to distract them so the rest of us could escape. If anything, it’s my fault she was captured by Zarkon in the first place…” Shiro muttered more to himself than to the others.

“Don’t be hard on yourself, Shiro, we all agreed as a team what we should do on that mission. We had no idea that it was an ambush, and none of us could have predicted it.” Lance spoke up. Matt gave a choked sob.

“Shiro, be honest with me, what have they done to Pidge?” Matt asked looking up to meet Shiro’s gaze. Shiro was the first to look away.

“She’s been beaten, raped, burned, drugged, choked… I’m sure that’s just a small portion of what I can describe. Pidge has endured all of it for months, Thace has even confirmed it himself that…” Shiro paused, a look of disgust on his face, “Pidge has a child on the way. As you heard, he was being vague about it on purpose. It could be that he thinks that his transmissions are being tracked, or because he knows all of us are raging pissed about it. Whatever the case, we can’t hold it against her.” Shiro shot a look to Matt who looked absolutely horrified.

“Shiro, it… It can’t be…” Matt sounded breathless as he looked to Shiro with terror. 

“You heard Thace yourself, Matt. She’s more terrified of us knowing, and she’s going to probably be extremely flighty when she returns. I am ordering you all, treat Pidge with kindness, and do not press her about what has happened to her.” Allura interjected.

Meanwhile, Thace frowned at Kalrepth’s back. The report hadn’t been good. Pidge had refused her morning meal, and Thace knew that he would have to take her to Zarkon soon. He pressed his hand to the panel to open the door before he entered Pidge’s room. Before he could ask if she was even awake, Thace found her on the floor, steps from the bed, laying in a pool of what appeared to be water. 

“Paladin? Paladin!” Thace went to her and turned her over, not in the least bit surprised that Pidge wasn’t responding. Thace pressed a hand to his ear, activating his communicator. “Krolia, report to the Paladin’s room immediately, we have a situation.” Thace snapped as he laid Pidge gently on her back. He gently touched her throat, breathing a sigh of relief as he felt a rather weak pulse. It was then that Krolia entered the room, gasping at the sight that met her.

“How long has Pidge been like this?” Krolia asked as she began to look Pidge over. 

“I haven’t a clue, all I know is Kalrepth stated that she refused to eat. When I came in here I contacted you immediately.” Thace hesitated. “I am going to see if I can buy some time, see what you can do for her.” With that Thace left the room. Krolia gently reached out a hand and touched Pidge’s middle. Despite how far her pregnancy was, Krolia was surprised that Pidge barely even looked pregnant. She was snapped from her thoughts as a soft moan issued from Pidge. 

“Pidge, can you hear me? It’s Krolia.” Krolia asked softly. Pidge nodded as her hand took Krolia’s, giving it a rather weak squeeze. “Two squeezes if you’re fine, one if you’re in labor.” Krolia was surprised that Pidge responded immediately with a single squeeze. “Pidge, have you already had the baby?” Krolia asked, Pidge shook her head. 

Meanwhile, Thace stood before Haggar and Zarkon, his head bowed slightly.

“I see. We may have broken the Paladin after all. Given that reason, I think it’s time the Paladin is returned to her companions.” Zarkon spoke with a smirk.

“Do you wish to make it look like an escape, your majesty?” Thace asked carefully, “It would lull the other Paladins into a false sense of security.” Thace added. Zarkon have a hum before he nodded.

“I will allow it. You may pick one lieutenant to accompany you, see to it that she leaves within the Quintant. The moment she wakes, drag her if you need to.” Zarkon chuckled, “You are dismissed, Thace.” With that Thace gave the Galra salute and left the throne room, quickly returning to Pidge’s room. Krolia was gently handling something before she gave that something to Pidge.

“She’s small, but she’s alive. You did well, Pidge.” Thace heard Krolia whisper softly. Pidge’s breathing was coming in short gasps as she looked down at her chest where a small child was laying against her bare skin. The child had lavender skin, dark black hair, as well as human features. Oddly, Thace felt unease by the child’s lack of noise. “From what I can see, Pidge, she was born preterm. She’s healthy, but you need to get her out of here before Zarkon discovers her. It was a miracle he never found out about your pregnancy, but hiding a child is a different task.”

“Change of plans, Krolia. Zarkon is releasing her, but we need to move quickly.” Thace frowned slightly. “It’s going to be difficult, Pidge, but it’s the only chance we have.” Thace hesitated at the look of pure exhaustion that Pidge portrayed. 

“Thace! At least let her rest!” Krolia snapped. Krolia’s anger didn’t last long as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She frowned as she realized Pidge was handing Krolia her tiny daughter and attempting to sit up. “Pidge, stop, you just had a child, you could hurt yourself.” Krolia pleaded as she took the offered child. Pidge then held out a hand to Thace, silently ordering him to help her stand. 

“Krolia is right, Pidge, perhaps it would be best to wait for at least a few varga…” Thace instantly knew Pidge wasn’t listening as Thace helped her stand. “See if you can find her some actual clothes, Krolia. Pidge, come sit for a bit, once Krolia returns, we will get you back to your fellow Paladins.” Thace said leading Pidge to her bed where she promptly sat with a loud sigh. She motioned Krolia for her child as Thace draped a blanket around Pidge. Krolia handed the small girl back to Pidge before she smiled.

“She needs a name, Pidge, what are you going to name her?” Krolia asked softly. Pidge motioned for Krolia’s hand before she carefully began to trace letters on Krolia’s palm. “R-o-l-i-a? H-o-l-t? Rolia Holt?” Krolia asked aloud making Pidge nod vigorously. For the first time in several phoebes, Pidge cracked a small smile. “That’s a beautiful name, Pidge. You and Thace stay here, I will be back.” Krolia gave Pidge a prideful smile before she left the room, leaving Thace standing awkwardly beside Pidge. 

“Pidge, do you realize that if Zarkon ever finds out about your daughter, he may try to take her from you?” Thace asked, earning a murderous glare from Pidge. “By all rights, she is Galran Royalty, Pidge.” This statement earned a hiss of irritation from Pidge. “Don’t kill the Messenger, Paladin, I’m merely stating fact. Krolia is right, however, you’ve done well. All we need to do is get you back to the others. Once you’re dressed and ready, we will get you to the Green Lion and get you both out of here.” Thace responded with a smile.


	4. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge starts to break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was slightly intoxicated while writing this chapter... scratch that, I was fairly drunk.
> 
> I'm so sorry... Oh, who am I kidding I like to torture Pidge...
> 
> I REALLY like to torture Pidge.

The bridge of the Castle of lions was silent, the Paladins sat in their respective seats, Matt occupying Pidge’s vacant seat. A sudden beep startled the group as some Galra text appeared on the screen.

“What the fuck?” Lance was the first to speak as Matt swiped something on the interface in front of him. 

“This doesn’t make sense…” Matt muttered as he swiped the translation up to the main screen. The translation read: “Clear for Green, RH14xx” Shiro frowned at the translation before Hunk gasped. 

“They’re busting Pidge out early!” Hunk yelled. “But that last bit, I don’t think those are coordinates, are they?” Hunk asked pointing to the last bit. Matt shook his head.

“No, but you may not be too far off, at least on the first bit. The signal is coming from Galra Central Command. More than likely it’s from Thace, Krolia, or even Pidge.” Matt typed on his interface. “Wait, That last part, the numbers, they’re today’s date in Universal Time. But what is RH? Is it a person, a location, a planet, a star?” Matt began to mutter out loud, typing furiously. It was then that an incoming transmission alarm blared. Allura immediately pulled up the communications screen before both Thace and Krolia appeared on screen.

“Thace! Krolia! Status report, now!” Shiro snapped. Krolia hesitated looking over her shoulder.

“We have Pidge, and the green Lion. Unfortunately the Green Lion is barely listening to Pidge. I’m opening a secured connection, send your coordinates and we will be there as soon as possible.” Thace responded.

“Let us see Pidge.” Matt demanded as Thace frowned.

“She is in a rather fragile mood, Matthew.” Thace said carefully seconds before a small hand reached over the back of the pilot seat to tap Krolia on the shoulder. Krolia turned to see Pidge crouched behind the Pilot seat, offering Krolia the now sleeping infant in her arms.

“Are you sure? It’s okay if you don- okay, okay… For someone who doesn’t talk you sure are demanding.” Krolia giggled as she carefully stayed out of sight of the other Paladins to take the baby from Pidge. Once Krolia was sitting cross legged on the floor, Pidge stood, rounded the pilot seat and stared in amazement at the Paladins. She gestured to the others making Thace nod.

“Yes, like I told you earlier, we’re headed to the Castle of Lions.” Thace clarified as the rest of the Paladins continued to stare at Pidge. Pidge pointed to the screen shaking her head, Thace then realized she was pointing at Matt. “Matthew? What about him?” Thace asked Pidge rolled her eyes before she gestured at the cockpit around them, pointing to herself briefly, then to the flight controls in front of Thace. “You want him to pilot the Green Lion?” Thace questioned Pidge gave a noncommittal shrug until she pointed to the interface and gave Thace a look of irritation. “At least until the Green Lion starts listening to you instead of acting like a spoiled brat?” Pidge nodded vigorously. Thace sighed. 

“Pidge, is it really you?” Asked Lance and Matt at the same time. Pidge turned her attention to the screen, her expression wary. 

“Jesus, they did a number on you, didn’t they?” Hunk asked softly as he noted that Pidge had a scar across her left cheek and a scar on the right side of her neck. She looked to the floor, her expression changing from mildly happy to guilty as she looked anywhere but the screen.

“Hunk that was hardly appropriate. Matt and Lance are right, are you really Pidge?” Asked Allura, making Pidge look up. Pidge pointed at herself with a dejected look. 

“Princess, I must beg you to have some patience with Pidge. As you can see she refuses to speak-” Thace was interrupted as Pidge tapped him on the shoulder, shaking her head. She then pointed to the scar on her neck. “Wait, you mean that the one time Sendak was allowed to interrogate you privately, he…” Thace trailed off as Pidge gave a slow nod. She made a motion by her neck before making a motion as if to symbolize talking. “If I didn’t already have thousands of reasons to kill the bastard before, I do now.” Thace sighed. “What Pidge was saying as best she could without the ability to use words: Sendak put a device in her neck that hinders her ability to speak. From what I know the device has been present for a few phoebes now, but it has since been set to completely obliterate her ability to speak as of around a phoebe ago. It literally stops your vocal chords from producing sound.” Pidge pointed to Thace, nodding as if to confirm what Thace was saying, turning and lifting her hair so the others could better see the scar on her neck.

“Jesus, Pidge… Can it be removed?” Hunk asked. Pidge gave a curious look to Thace. 

“Yes…” Thace said simply before Pidge rolled her eyes. She made a motion by her neck as if she were making an incision, then a motion as if she were pulling something out before dramatically making squirting motions and giving Thace a frown. “Don’t be dramatic, it’s a simple process. And just so you know, this is the most communication we’ve gotten out of her in over a phoebe.” Krolia gave a giggle from behind the pilot seat causing Pidge to turn around and practically give the Paladins a great view of her rear, a soft almost rusty giggle issued from Pidge before she turned back around her hand over her heart as she seemed to forget that she couldn’t speak, her lips moved soundlessly as a soft smile crossed her face. Without warning Pidge burst into soft sobs, gesturing to where Krolia was sitting and to the Paladins on the screen.

“What’s wrong? Pidge, are you alright?” Asked Allura softly. 

“Give her a moment, Princess. This quintant has already been physically taxing for Pidge, and it’s proving to be quite emotional for her as well. Things happened that warranted a change of plans for her return, and I don’t doubt that everything that has happened to her is anything short of exhausting.” Thace gently took hold of Pidge’s shoulders, “Look at me. Your friends have been worried about you. You have undergone some physical changes, it’s normal for them to-” Thace was interrupted when Pidge pointed to the Paladins on screen, then made a motion as if she were sticking a syringe into her neck before she pointed to her face where two mauve markings were barely noticeable. “Well, no, I didn’t tell them what Haggar was doing…” Pidge seemed to become agitated as she began wordlessly moving her lips as if trying to verbally express something.

“Pidge, calm down. You asked us to keep parts of your torture from your fellow Paladins, out of respect for what you went through, we honored your request. As soon as we get to the Castle of Lions, the sooner you can explain what you feel like explaining.” Krolia said peeking around the side of the pilot seat. 

Pidge frowned as Thace sighed. Pidge turned to fully face the others, she slowly licked her lower lip in thought before she gestured to the Paladins then to Thace before making a talking motion and jabbing a thumb over her shoulder to Krolia. Thace hesitated.

“Yes and no. I explained to Shiro, briefly and vaguely, but I don’t know if he has spoken to the others yet.” Thace replied. Pidge looked to the floor before she began to use quick gestures. “Slow down, I can’t figure out what you’re trying to say when you get this worked up.” Thace sighed before Pidge gave Thace a glare, grabbing his hand and traced letters into his palm before Thace seemed to understand. “I think that is something you’re going to have to discuss with them, privately. As I said, Shiro is more than aware of the circumstances but I haven’t had the chance to brief him on recent developments.” Thace said carefully. Pidge gave a scowl before she turned her attention back to the screen. She pointed to Shiro and gave a shrug. Before she pointed to Allura and shrugged again. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re asking, Pidge.” Thace gave her a curious look as she threw her hands into the air in frustration. She then jabbed Shiro’s image on the display. “Shiro?” Pidge nodded. She gave a shrug before she pointed again to Allura with another shrug. “You want to know if Shiro told Allura?” Pidge nodded.

“I told all of them everything, not just Allura. It was as vaguely specific as I could be without the details. We… Know what Zarkon did to you…” Shiro said slowly. Pidge gave a curious look before she tugged at Thace’s sleeve and gestured for his hand. Pidge slowly spelled out something on Thace’s hand then pointed to Lance.

“She wants me to ask if you all want to see Rolia.” Thace translated. 

“We already know who Krolia is, Pidge. She’s Keith’s mom.” Said Hunk. 

“Wait. Was that transmission from you, Pidge?” Asked Matt. Pidge nodded excitedly. “The last part of the transmission, RH 14xx, RH must refer to a person?” Matt paused for a moment, his expression horrified as he seemed to put together what Pidge was asking. “Wait, RH, Rolia Holt? You had your baby, today?” Matt asked making Pidge nod with a worried look.

“I wanna see the baby!” Shouted Lance and Hunk at the same time. Pidge turned and tapped Krolia on the shoulder giving her a grabbing gesture to signal that she wanted to hold Rolia. Gently, Krolia rounded the pilot seat and handed the baby to Pidge. Despite being a newborn, Rolia was alert and making soft noises as she attempted to devour her hand. 

“Oh my god, she’s adorable! I’m assuming she’s a girl anyway, are you a girl, Rolia?” Lance bounced from his seat to join Allura at the point closest to the communications screen. The baby merely cooed softly as Pidge gave a short nod. 

“She’s so alert! And those eyes, I think I’m going to faint from cuteness overload!” Hunk practically squealed in delight making Pidge smile.

“She was born shortly after the change of guard. She isn’t even half a quintant but she’s already as alert as a Galra newborn.” Thace gave a prideful smile to the baby in Pidge’s arms. 

“She’s so tiny…” Matt noted that Rolia was small. Pidge looked down at the baby before she began to gesture with one hand. “Pidge, we don’t understand your sign language yet.” Matt sighed. Pidge gave a disgruntled look to Thace, pointing at Rolia then to the Paladins. 

“Technically by Galra terms, she was born two phoebes early, by human standards she was apparently born at the perfect time. Either way, Pidge did well, and despite the circumstances, they are both alive. Although, should Zarkon find out about this child, I can guarantee he will attempt to take her by force.” Thace followed Pidge’s gaze to the happily babbling child. “I suppose, however, that for now all is well.” Pidge gave a halfhearted shrug before she turned the baby so that she had the baby’s face close to her own. The infant reached out a hand and Pidge managed a grin as she gently nipped at the small hand, making Rolia giggle loudly. 

“I will go ahead and open a wormhole for you. We will see you soon, Pidge.” Allura said with a gentle smile. 

A few doboshes later, the Green Lion gently touched down in its hangar. Pidge hesitated as Krolia and Thace immediately made for the exit. She looked down to Rolia who had fallen asleep against Pidge’s chest, sucking on her tiny fist. Pidge frowned before she slowly made her way out of the Green Lion. As soon as she left the Green Lion, she was swarmed by the other Paladins, making her scream in terror as she shoved them away, taking a few steps back. 

“Back off, back off!” Matt shouted stepping between Pidge and the other Paladins, “Back the fuck off, you’re scaring her!” In her panic, Pidge had wound up back in the Green Lion, sitting in the Pilot seat with Rolia held as close as possible without hurting or waking the child as she tried to slow her breathing. “Pidge, are you okay?” Matt asked as he slowly entered the cockpit. Pidge turned, biting her lower lip. 

Pidge shook her head before she began to make gestures with one hand. Matt watched her gestures in silence before he seemed to get an idea.

“You would rather have them greet you one by one? Rather than swarming you like they just did, yeah?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded slowly before she gave Matt a surprised look pointing to Rolia then to Matt. “You want me to hold her?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded gently shifting Rolia. Matt quietly approached Pidge before he carefully accepted his niece with a small smile. “Jesus, Pidge, if you were Galra, she would look just like you. I remember when you were a baby, Pidge, she looks just like you did… I mean if you had dark hair and purple skin anyway.” Pidge gave a soft smile before she gestured for Matt’s hand. He tentatively offered his palm to her before she slowly spelled out with the tip of her finger that she was grateful that Matt wasn’t angry with her for what had happened. Matt gave her a grin. “Hey, you would do the same for me if I was in the same situation. So we’re even.” Matt said softly. 

It was then that there was a shifting sound from the doorway to the cockpit seconds before Lance peeked his head around the doorframe.

“Uh, knock knock?” Lance asked gently as Pidge grabbed Matt’s hand and spelled out that she wanted to spend a few moments alone with Lance. Matt nodded knowingly.

“Just a few. Then I’ll send Allura to see you, is that okay?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded before she pointed to the sleeping baby in Matt’s arms then pointed to Lance. “You want me to offer Rolia to Lance?” Matt asked. Pidge nodded as she motioned for Lance to enter. Lance slowly approached before Matt went to Lance and offered him Rolia. Lance accepted the baby with a fond smile. “I’ll give you two a bit, okay?” Matt then made his way out of the cockpit leaving Lance and Pidge in absolute silence.

“She’s beautiful, Pidge.” Lance said softly as he gently poked her tiny fist with a finger, allowing her small hand to grab his finger. He looked up to see that Pidge was giving him a soft look. “Damn it, I forgot, you can’t talk.” Lance went to Pidge and sat on the arm of the Pilot seat. She watched him curiously for a moment before she tugged on his sleeve, exposing his wrist. She gently began tracing letters against his wrist. At first Lance watched in confusion before he began to string the letters into words and words into sentences. 

“It’s good to see you again, Lance. I’m truly sorry for making you worry about me so much. I may have a few bruises and scars, but at least I’m alive, right? I honestly wish I could speak right now, and express just how happy I am to finally be home.” Pidge spelled out before she gave Lance a curious look as if to ask if he understood her. 

“I’m glad you’re back, Pidge. You scared us when you sent us that transmission two weeks after you were captured. We had no idea what you were going through until Shiro told us about it today. I honestly never want to see you so tired of fighting ever again. You’ve always been the strongest of us all, and I’ve always admired that. Besides I have a personal bone to pick with you.” Lance gave a playful frown. 

“What did I do, Lance? I’ve been gone for a decaphoeb and I haven’t contacted you but the one time…” Pidge tilted her head to the side as Lance sighed dramatically. 

“You don’t just tell people that you love them after you’ve pretty much made a very pretty speech that you would more than likely die in the clutches of Zarkon, Pidge.” Lance chuckled softly. Pidge blinked with a soft blush coloring her cheeks.

“You can remember what I said a decaphoeb ago, but you can’t remember your “bonding moment” with Keith?” Pidge gave a snort as Lance gasped playfully. 

“We agreed never to talk about it. So, Pidge, was that just terror talking, or is it how you really feel?” Lance countered with a query of his own.

“I think it was a bit of both, really. I was scared that I would never see any of you guys again, and I knew I had to say something… Krolia had to literally knock me out because I was so hysterical after I ended the transmission.” Pidge paused to take Lance’s finger from Rolia’s tiny hand before she brought his hand to her chest, mouthing “what does it feel like to you?”. Lance smiled softly.

“Feels legit to me, Pidge.” Lance chuckled leaning in to gently hug Pidge, careful of the baby in his arms before he smiled down at Rolia who was beginning to wake with a small cry that softly grew louder. Pidge gestured for Lance to hand her the baby as she pulled an arm through her sleeve and pulled her shirt up enough so that one of her breasts was exposed. Lance looked away with a frown, before Pidge tugged at his sleeve gesturing for his hand.

“She’s hungry. Galra and half Galra babies have weird feeding schedules. Krolia explained it to me, since Keith is half Galra and she had experience with other half Galra babies.” Pidge spelled out via an explanation against Lance’s palm. She then gave him a smirk, “What, you thought I was showing my boob for fun? Perv.” Pidge grinned wider to show that she was joking. Lance chuckled. 

“No, I just thought it would be respectful not to stare at you. I mean I was around for Nadia and Silvio being breast fed, and I just think it’s rude for a guy to stare at a woman who is just trying to feed her baby.” Lance stated defensively. Pidge tipped her head back, her mouth wide as a soft laugh issued from her. “So, you can laugh, you just can’t talk?” Lance asked Pidge shook her head.

“Not really. If I were to force it, I could probably talk a little bit, but it would probably sound like I’m dying or something. Plus this thing makes it hurt to laugh, scream, or anything that has to do with being verbal. It was part of the interrogation torture that Sendak suggested. To be honest, I was fully conscious when he performed the surgery.” Pidge admitted slowly pausing to bite her lower lip in thought before she moved her free hand from Lance’s palm to the side of her neck where she had shown the others the scar. Lance frowned slightly.

“Would you let Thace or Krolia remove it?” Lance asked feeling slightly childish. Pidge nodded while mouthing “yes, yes I would.” Lance gave a small smile as the sound of someone clearing their throat was heard. Lance looked up to see Allura standing on the door way. “We’ll talk more, later, okay?” Lance asked before Pidge spelled out: “I’ll hold you to it.” Lance patted Pidge briefly on the head before he left, leaving Allura and Pidge alone. 

“You’re really Pidge?” Allura asked softly before Pidge gestured for her hand.

“It’s easier for me to spell it out than it is for me to make weird gestures and hope you understand me. To answer your question, yes, I am really me. I know I’ve changed quite a bit… I’m covered in scars, and I don’t quite know exactly what Haggar was doing to me, but it’s somehow morphed my biology as far as Thace and Krolia can tell…” Pidge paused for a moment. “It’s probably hard to believe that I am me, I mean, my hair needs a good cut, I’m a bit taller, and I just had a baby…” Pidge gave a soundless sigh.

“There’s one thing that you would know above the others. Before you were kidnapped, what did you and I do for fun?” Allura asked. Pidge gave a smile.

“That’s easy! I told you about how I used to wear dresses and showed you a picture of me wearing a dress. I really used to enjoy it. Since you still have dresses and gowns that fit my smaller body type, we would have secret dress up parties. It was so embarrassing when Lance caught us that one time. You threatened to tell Coran that he was a peeping Tom if he told anyone about them.” Pidge smiled softly, “The blue dress with the forest green trim was always my favorite.” Allura gasped with a smile.

“It is really you! We’ve missed so much…” Allura exclaimed as she made a motion to hug Pidge, stopping slightly short of Pidge as she seemed to realize that Rolia was nursing quite greedily from Pidge’s chest. “I nearly forgot about her… You named her Rolia? After Keith’s mother I assume?” Allura asked Pidge nodded as Rolia began nuzzling Pidge’s chest signaling that she was done feeding. Pidge gently put the baby to her shoulder, before tugging her shirt back into place. Pidge then motioned for Allura’s hand again.

“Yes. I was delirious with pain this morning when Thace found me, he called Krolia to help me while he distracted Zarkon. Krolia was able to quickly figure out that I had been in labor for quite some time and that I needed immediate help. If it wasn’t for Krolia, Rolia and I would have died…” Pidge spelled out before she took her hand back and began to pat Rolia on the back.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but… Who is Rolia’s biological father?” Allura asked. A look of guilt crossed Pidge’s face. Before she reached over and hesitantly began to spell it out for Allura.

“I refuse to call a rapist a father, Allura. He may have forced me to conceive but he will never have the joy of knowing this child. If you must know, Zarkon was the one who assaulted me. He gave me some drug, I don’t remember what it was called, but it forced my body to feel pleasure.” Pidge paused as Allura realized that the smaller woman was shaking. “My mind knew that I wasn’t enjoying what was happening, but my body reacted to the drug. I didn’t realize I was pregnant until almost two phoebes ago. I didn’t know how far along I was, or even which instance it happened. I was devastated, knowing my first born child was the product of brutal torture. I refused to let on that I was pregnant in front of Zarkon, who knows what he would have done to her. I only told Thace because I was convinced after a particularly rough round of interrogation that Zarkon was trying to slowly kill me.” Pidge stopped tracing letters on Allura’s palm as a look of pain crossed her face.

“Pidge, you don’t have to say anything more…” Allura said softly as Pidge burst into silent tears. 

“But I’m alive, Allura… And so is Rolia… I’m so grateful, but I’m so scared…” Pidge finished before she gently patted Rolia on the head while the little girl attempted to eat her fist once again, happily gurgling her contentment. 

“May I, Pidge?” Allura asked holding her arms out to signify that she wanted to hold Rolia. Pidge nodded with a deep breath, taking Rolia from her shoulder and handing her to the Altean woman. Allura examined the baby while Pidge wiped tears from her face. “She has Altean markings, and she seems to be very much like a newborn half Altean. I know you’re not Altean naturally and obviously with a part of her biology being purely half Galra that could explain her looks.” Allura commented as Rolia stared her deep black eyes into Allura’s deep blue. 

Pidge gave a shrug and patted her own neck before making a face and pretending that she was injecting something into her own neck with another shrug.

“Haggar injected something into you that you don’t know what it was?” Allura asked. Pidge nodded before she pointed out the markings on her own face. “I was wondering about those, so they appeared after Haggar injected that substance into you?” Pidge nodded holding up eight fingers before pointing to Rolia then to her middle. “It happened eight phoebes ago, approximately just before or around the same time that you became pregnant with Rolia?” Allura inquired as Pidge nodded again. “It doesn’t matter what her lineage is, Pidge, I was just morbidly curious. She’s a beautiful child…” Allura smiled at the baby who smiled back making soft grunting noises. Pidge gave a frown making a series of gestures, her look turning to guilt. “You think your own mother is going to be furious with you for what happened to you?” Allura asked.

Pidge nodded quietly. She then held up ten fingers then bent two to symbolize the number 18, then she put a hand over her heart before pointing to Rolia.

“Even though you’re eighteen and you know your mother loves you, you still have that fear?” Allura asked softly as Pidge nodded yet again. It was then that Matt came into the cockpit with a frown.

“I’m sorry, but you’re needed on the Bridge, Pidge. Mom and Dad contacted us with some information about earth.” Matt said shortly. Pidge carefully threaded her arm back into her shirt before she seemed to realize what she was wearing she gave a shrug and gestured at her clothing. She was wearing a worn uniform of a Galran inmate, that was at least in better condition than what she had worn for the previous decaphoeb. “I don’t think they’ll care. They’ve been just as worried as we all have. Come on.” Matt grabbed Pidge by the wrist, causing her to gasp and violently pull her arm back before she showed Matt that her wrists were rubbed raw, the skin scarred, cracked, and bleeding. “Ewww, sorry, but come on.” Matt gestured for Pidge to follow him. Pidge looked to Allura and nodded after Matt.


	5. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge has choices to make.
> 
> An old face reemerges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's DnD night. My characters are doing nothing and screaming "Vrepit Sa!" at the Bard...
> 
> So, here, have an update.

Within a few minutes the Paladins were assembled on the bridge, with Pidge front and center.

“Katie Paige Holt! Where have you been?!” Was the first thing past Colleen’s lips as she saw her daughter. Pidge brought up an interface before she began to type.

“Really? You’re asking me that after everyone has already told you?” A robotic voice asked, “I have to use a type to speech mechanism because I have literally had my ability to speak taken from me.” Pidge’s fingers paused on the interface. “I’ll be able to speak again once this thing has been removed, but until then I will make due with what I have. What exactly have Matt and the Paladins told you? I’ll do my best to fill in the blanks.” Pidge looked at her parents, cocking her head to the side. 

“We heard that you had been captured by Zarkon, and that your rescue was on hold due to the risk factors.” Sam replied with a frown.

“Did they give you details, Dad?” The interface formed Pidge’s query as she gave a scowl at the interface. 

“All we know is that you just came back today. Pidge, are you okay?” Sam asked as Pidge suddenly grabbed her throat looking shocked. She gave a silent cough, her fingers clawing at her neck before she reached over to quickly type with her left hand. However, she didn’t finish what she was typing as she gave a gasp, her hand slamming to the interface, her face contorted as a short scream escaped her. “Katie! What’s happening?” Sam yelled as Colleen gasped as Pidge looked up, a small bit of blood dribbled from the corner of her mouth. She swiped the back of her hand across her face before she deleted what she had previously typed. 

“Sendak must be furious, Thace, I could give a quiznak less about my parents watching. I want this thing out, now!” Pidge slammed a hand to the control panel in front of her, this time in apparent fury, her hand still holding her neck. 

“Katie, what are you talking about?” Colleen asked as Thace approached Pidge.

“Are you sure about this?” Thace asked as he shot a look to Krolia. 

“If I can be fully conscious while having a torture device forced into my body, I can be fully conscious to get it out. Remove it, now.” Although the robotic interface voice was neutral, the fury on Pidge’s face spoke volumes. “I will no longer let that son of a fucking bitch have power over me. Either you do it, or I do it for you. You have three ticks to decide.” Pidge held up a hand showing three fingers, slowly she curled one into her palm, followed by the second. After the third had curled into Pidge’s palm, Thace hesitated enough for Pidge to quickly dash behind Thace, grabbing his Marmora blade from the sheath at his lower back. 

“Katie, don’t!” Colleen shouted seconds before Pidge brought the blade slicing through the skin of the scar on her neck. Krolia and Thace were the first ones to reach Pidge. Krolia managed to wrestle the blade from Pidge’s hand while Thace attempted to cover the wound. Matt dashed over with a first aid kit as Pidge literally began to fight Thace. 

“Katie, stop it! Lance, what is she talking about? What is she trying to prove?” Sam asked. 

“One of Zarkon’s commanders put something in her neck that causes pain and literally prevents her from making verbal sounds. I’m guessing from what we just saw is that Sendak, the commander who did it in the first place, has a remote torture function on it. Personally, I don’t blame her for wanting it out. She can’t laugh, speak, cry, and she can barely scream.” Lance explained as Pidge sat up, a feral look on her face as Allura gently began to stitch the incision on her neck.

“What happened to my daughter? I want only the honest answers.” Colleen hissed. Pidge approached before she gently nudged Lance to get him to move.

“For the last year and two months I have been beaten, I have been raped, I have been drugged, burned, experimented on, interrogated with extreme amounts of violence, and I’ve had my race changed entirely against my will. I have been forced into unconsciousness, I have been forced to endure hours of torture each and every day at the hands of Zarkon himself. I led him to believe he had broken my spirit, that he had caused me to lose my will to live. I did what I had to in order to survive. I went so far as to hand my Paladinship to Matt, because I honestly thought I wouldn’t have lived to see eighteen.” Pidge’s voice was weak from disuse as she looked over her shoulder to Thace. “Thank you, by the way, even though I forced you to do it.” Pidge gave a soft apologetic grin.

“Pidge, you did that on purpose?!” Asked Coran as Pidge noted that Rolia had been passed to him. Pidge gave a shrug.

“I’m not going to lie. I don’t particularly like it when someone can force me to do something. Sending shocks of pain through my throat was a dick move, and I’m sure Sendak would have done it again.” Pidge reached up to touch the stitches on her neck with a hiss, “It’s not the smartest thing I’ve done, but it worked.” Thace held up what appeared to be a small box no bigger than the tip of his thumb.

“I apologize for the display, parents of Pidge. Your daughter certainly is strong willed, I must say.” Thace chuckled. 

“Katie, Matt, who are those Galra, and why are they there?” Sam asked. 

“Commander Thace is the one who saved Pidge from Central Command. Krolia is Keith’s Mother, and member of the same group as Thace.” Matt hesitated before Pidge frowned. 

“Krolia saved my life as well, Matt, don’t forget that she also saved Rolia as well.” Pidge turned back to her parents. “These two saved my life, I owe them everything. Krolia in particular saved the life of your granddaughter as well.” Pidge took a deep breath before Colleen was the first to speak, breaking the awkward silence.

“Katie, what do you mean, Granddaughter?” She asked slowly. Pidge looked to Coran before the ginger Altean brought Rolia to Pidge, the little girl making raspberries at her mother. Colleen gasped before Sam spoke.

“Katie, while you were… They didn’t, did they?” Sam asked slowly. Pidge nodded slowly. 

“Zarkon himself was the only one allowed to torture me. Sendak got lucky once to be allowed to put that device in my neck. Haggar was only allowed to give me injections in the presence of Zarkon periodically of test drugs to see how well they suited torture. Each time I was interrogated and tortured in earnest was always at the hands of Zarkon.” Pidge paused to give Rolia a fond look. “Developmentally, she’s about as far along as a six to nine month old human child, according to Krolia, Thace, and Allura, she’s on par with the average fully Galra or even half Altean child. Personally, I’m just glad she’s alive.” She gave her parents a soft look.

“When was she born? How old is she?” Asked Colleen. 

“She was born this morning, shortly after Thace found Pidge unresponsive after the change of guard. Thace called me to assist with the birth while he distracted Zarkon with some cock and bull story. Pidge had been in labor for some time, she was very nearly delirious with pain. If I hadn’t been there, it was clear that Pidge and her daughter would have died. I’m surprised that she had the determination to leave Central Command in her condition.” Krolia stepped forward to give Pidge a smile. Pidge smiled in return. 

“But if she’s a newborn, shoul-” Colleen was cut off by Krolia shaking her head.

“If you haven’t noticed, thanks to Haggar, Pidge became half Altean, half Galra, favoring more of the Altean than Galra. We’ve done tests in private to find out what happened. By all rights, Rolia is three quarters Galra, one quarter Altean. With this in mind, she’s actually on par with the average Galra halfbreed.” Krolia smiled softly, “Keith’s father was human, and he was surprised that Keith was just as advanced as Rolia when he was first born.” Krolia explained. Colleen and Sam exchanged glances.

“Pidge, be honest with your mother and I… Do you want to come home?” Sam asked softly Pidge looked down to Rolia, frowning as the little girl waved her small fist at Pidge as if to be proud of the fact that it was covered in drool.

“With all my heart, Dad. I would love a reprieve from what I just went through. It’s just a fantasy until this war is over. I have a responsibility to myself, to Rolia, to my fellow Paladins, even to the universe. That son of a fuck will pay for what he has done not just to me but hundreds of thousands of other people of the universe. I am the Paladin of the Green Lion, and I’d like to see that mother fucker take that from me.” Pidge growled. 

“Sam, Colleen, I can send one of the Paladins to earth to have you join us, even temporarily.” Allura offered. There was silence before Matt spoke up.

“I’ll get them if Green will respond to me. Because of my connection with Pidge, it shouldn’t be a problem. Pidge, you really should go to take some time in one of the healing pods. Thace and Krolia can catch the rest of us up on whatever the hell has happened in the last Decaphoeb. Allura, Coran, Thace, and Krolia can keep an eye on Rolia while you rest.” Matt concluded frowning at Pidge with his arms folded across his chest. Pidge frowned.

“You know, Matt is right, Katie. If you’ve had such a rough day, you should rest. If it isn’t too much trouble, Princess, we will be happy to visit the Paladins.” Colleen stated. 

“Fuck that, I don’t- Lance, don’t you DARE!” Pidge snapped seconds before Lance took Rolia gently from Pidge and Thace came up behind her, gracefully plucking her from her feet and casually throwing her over his shoulder. “Damn it, Thace, put me down you mother fu-“ Pidge’s words faded to silence as Thace gave the Holts a nod and took Pidge from the room. 

“I better show him where the healing pods are…” Coran piped up nervously as he, too made his way from the room. 

“Don’t look too shocked, she’s actually quite used to being dragged off by Thace. He has been the one to keep an eye on her, unfortunately he knows the exact extent of what Pidge has gone through.” Krolia sighed.

“Relax, soon we can get Thace in here and we will all get some closure.” Lance said looking to the Galra woman. “Let’s just be glad that she’s back and she’s safe now.” Lance then looked to the little girl in his arms. “Huh, Rolia! Let’s be glad that your mamà is safe and sound, yeah?” Lance asked nuzzling his nose to Rolia’s making the baby shriek in laughter.

A few Varga later, Colleen and Sam stood in the Pod room, Sam carefully studying the pod that contained Pidge. 

“Thace was correct, Katie sustained several internal injuries that she probably kept hidden. I have to admit, the Galra never did this to Matt or myself.” Sam said as he examined his daughter’s face. Pidge was sleeping soundly in the pod, her features relaxed as the pod gave a steady beep, monitoring her heartbeat. 

“You and I weren’t Paladins at the time, Dad.” Matt said softly. He was wearing the green Paladin armor that had previously been used by Pidge. 

“How long until she wakes?” Colleen asked as she looked to Allura and Coran.

“Well, Lance was once near death and was in it for several varga. Shiro was in it once for several days for injuries he sustained during a fight on the Balmera near Arus. It’s hard to say, really. No doubt she will come to swinging, that’s just who Pidge is, really.” Coran said, twisting his mustache in worry. 

“She’s going to be fine. I mean, Thace said her injuries were minor, right?” Lance chimed in, “Besides, this is Pidge we’re talking about. First thing she’s going to say is for Thace to get fucked.” Lance shot finger guns to the Galra man who silently rose a brow at Lance. No sooner had Lance spoke but the pod containing Pidge beeped loudly. Lance turned to the pod, just as the barrier separating Pidge from the others dissolved and Pidge fell forward. With a grunt, Lance awkwardly caught Pidge as her eyes fluttered open. 

“Katie! You’re alright!” Shouted Colleen as she went to Pidge and Lance. Pidge gave a groan. 

“Jesus fucking Christ… I feel worse than Hunk in a simulator puking his guts out…” Pidge grumbled as Lance helped Pidge stand straighter.

All of the bruises and cuts on Pidge had disappeared, she looked a bit healthier than she had before, however it was now far more apparent that Pidge was exhausted.

“You know what you need? Some Space Goo. You want some Space Goo, Pidge.” Hunk asked making Pidge smile.

“I’d love some, Hunk. And if I’m ever on death’s door again, don’t you dare stick me in that thing again, I’ll die in peace, thank you. I’ll be fucked if I let you.” Pidge grumbled. Lance grinned.

“You’re welcome, Pidge.” Lance chuckled.

“Fuck you.” Pidge snapped looking up at Lance who merely grinned. 

“Maybe later, Pidge.” Lance immediately regretted his words as Pidge’s hand met the side of his face with a healthy slap. “I deserved that… I deserved that good.” Lance muttered as Pidge groaned, stumbling into Hunk. 

“Let’s get a good meal into you, you’ll feel better, trust me. And Lance, cut the flirting. We know you have a thing for Pidge, but at least wait until she can properly kick your ass.” Hunk flashed a grin at Lance who groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“No, that was just an automatic response. She always used to tell me fuck you while we would play KBP before she got kidnapped. I always used to respond with the same thing. It’s hard to break old habits.” Lance shrugged as Pidge accepted Hunk’s offered arm. 

“Thace you throw me over your shoulder again and you can get fucked.” Pidge grumbled. Lance chuckled.

“Told you.” Lance chuckled as Hunk led Pidge from the room. The others followed to the dining room where Pidge flopped into a chair, groaning loudly. 

“How do you feel, Katie?” Colleen asked, startling Pidge as she looked to her mother in surprise.

“Mom?” Pidge asked rather thickly. Colleen gave Pidge a soft smile. 

“You didn’t expect me to stay on Earth when you were injured, did you?” Colleen asked softly. Pidge frowned looking away before Hunk put a rather large bowl of Space Goo in front of her. Pidge picked up the spoon Hunk had brought before she frowned deeper.

“I’m eighteen, mom, I think I’ve proved that I can take care of myself. It’s not to say I don’t appreciate you and Dad being here.” Pidge paused as she noted Sam frowning at her. “What?” Pidge asked noticing everyone was staring at her.

“Nothing, the Paladins are glad to have you back, Pidge. We all are.” Matt supplied. 

“You’ve grown up, Katie.” Sam noted with a frown. Pidge gave a snort through a spoonful of Space Goo. 

“I kind of had to, Dad. When you spend phoebes being tortured by an alien warlord, and have kind of accepted that you were more than likely going to die, you tend to get mature quick.” Pidge gave a half shrug. “Fuck, I’m tired.” Pidge groaned, setting down her spoon and covering her face to rub it tiredly.

“How long will you have Matt step in as Paladin, Katie?” Colleen asked, eyeing Matt in the armor. 

“Maybe a week, if even that. I will need to recover my strength and figure shit out.” Pidge ran her hands up her face to tangle in her severely tangled brown hair. “I’ve been away from the others for over a year, I need to get my shit together if I have any hope of being part of the team again.” Pidge sighed staring at the bowl in front of her. 

“Why don’t you go get some sleep, Pidge. You ran yourself into the ground, and-” Matt was cut off as Pidge gave a growl.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead, Matthew. Fuck the hell off.” Pidge snarled with an unusual amount of animosity. 

“Take it easy, Katie. We’re just worried about you. You have a child to worry about, we understand that you have some tough choices to make…” Colleen said softly. 

“Mom, just stop. The more any of you talk the weaker my reason seems. I am a paladin above all else, it was what kept me going when I felt abandoned, hopeless, and weak. It’s what kept me alive when I damn near took my own life. It’s what made me want to protect Rolia rather than shun her. She’s an innocent child that has been dragged into a war that she has no idea is even happening.” Pidge brought her hands in fists to the table, causing the bowl of Space Goo to wobble violently as her fists loudly hit the table, causing nearly everyone to jump in surprise. “How would you feel, knowing that an innocent life is in your hands. One that was forced into being by the most disgusting being to ever defile the universe. Imagine the pain that it causes just knowing that no matter where your child is, how safe you hope they are, they will always be in danger until one person is dead. I have to make decisions that cause an effect on nearly everyone in this god damn room.” Pidge snarled before looking up to meet her mother’s gaze. 

“Katie, I’m saying we understand the difficulty to make the decisions, Krolia also understands. From mother to mother, we understand is all I’m saying. I’m not trying to pressure you into any decision you don’t believe is for the best. Your father and I are here to support you, the other Paladins support you, Allura and Coran support you, Matt, Thace, and Krolia support you as well. You need time to think, we understand that. You need time to make sure you’re doing the right thing for Rolia as well as yourself. We want you to take the time, Matt can Paladin in your place for as long as you need him to. You were in a dangerous situation, now you’re faced with a nearly impossible choice.” Colleen reached out to gently touch one of Pidge’s, causing Pidge to flinch.

“I know that. Just. Fuck… I have been on death’s doorstep for months. I doubt that Zarkon is going to let us have it easy. Especially if he ever finds out about Rolia. If he finds out, and Rolia is on earth, he will destroy everything to lay claim to her. His son, Lotor, has been excommunicated from the Galra… He finds out, and I’m dead. He will personally kill me himself. If Lotor finds out about Rolia, more than likely he will kill her to remain heir.” Pidge pause to reach up to grab fistfuls of her own hair, tugging in frustration. “She’s a baby, she doesn’t know how much danger she is in just for being born. I’ve thought about it since I found out I was pregnant, she’s by all rights Galran Royalty, which Zarkon would stop at nothing to get his hands on her, assuming he finds out. As I just said, Lotor finds out and he would probably kill her to retain heirship. There’s really no way to win.” Pidge closed her eyes, her face contorted in pain. 

“Pidge, there has to be something, some way to hide her.” Matt said softly as he took the seat next to Pidge. 

“My original idea was to send her to Earth, have mom and dad take care of her until the war is over. I can’t justify it. It would put all of Earth in danger. The longer I think about it, I just can’t. I can’t justify sending her anywhere with anyone. It’s a death sentence. I probably shouldn’t have even come back here.” Pidge said softly.

“The Blades of Marmora can handle her, Pidge.” Said a familiar voice from across the room. Pidge looked up to find Keith standing in the doorway, Rolia happily cooing from the half Galra man’s hip. Pidge stood abruptly, promptly falling as her legs buckled from beneath her. She glared at Keith as Lance helped her stand and resume her seat. “Easy, Pidge. I’m not here to be a nuisance… Mom and Thace gave me a vague recollection of what happened.” Keith said by way of an explanation. Pidge gave a snarl of anger. 

“Why fucking bother? You left the team before anything could be resolved! Just because you were too much of a child to accept responsibility! I had to pick up the god damn slack while you’ve been off playing little Galra Soldier boy!” Pidge spat. Keith had been the type of man to anger quickly and violently, Pidge’s words would have pissed him off at one point. This time, however, Keith sighed.

“You know, you’re right. I joined the Blades to escape the possibility of replacing Shiro for good as the Black Paladin. Lance has been a far better second in command than I have ever been, and for your information, Pidge, I was one of the Blades who was assigned to your retrieval.” Keith admitted before he looked down to the baby on his hip. Rolia happily was smacking her tiny hand against Keith’s side. “To be honest, I think mom and Thace were probably the only ones involved that knew you were going to have a baby. We were informed of a last minute change in scheduling, and to be honest, I was the one who cleared Green’s hangar before you arrived.” Keith admitted.

“I refuse to thank you. As far as I’m concerned you did nothing. None of you did anything, it was my own wit that saved my bacon, not yours. If I’m correct, Thace gave an identical report to Zarkon, minus certain details, of the one he gave Shiro that caused Zarkon to believe hook, line, and sinker, that I had been broken, shattered, that I no longer had the will to be a Paladin.” Pidge leaned back in her seat. “If there’s one thing I learned, Zarkon is obsessive about keeping his word. He vowed he would return me, and he did. Little did he know it was on my terms, not his.” Pidge crossed her arms across her chest before she shot a look to Thace in the corner of the room. Thace scowled. “I’m also sure that the whole: “oh my god she’s escaping! Stop her!” Was orchestrated by the Blades via Thace’s suggestion. Which I suppose you do deserve kudos for. What, you think I’m stupid, Thace?” Pidge asked noting that Thace seemed rather surprised. 

“It seemed like you were rather subdued and… You planned your own escape, didn’t you.” Thace caught the grin on Pidge’s face. 

“I do believe I did. Six phoebes ago I came to a realization. Nobody else was going to get me out, it was too big of a risk. I was going to have to get myself out. It would have been quicker if I hadn’t been pregnant, or felt like testing Zarkon’s patience. Sure, it wasn’t very smart of me to keep pissing him off, and sure he nearly killed me at least once a movement, but who’s counting, really. ” Pidge gave a shrug. “Granted I wasn’t even sure it would even work, but as I’ve said a billion times, it was worth a shot. I had a backup plan, obviously, I mean, I had Rolia to think about. But anyway, point remains. I do thank Krolia and Thace for their help, obviously, but as far as I’m concerned, you, Keith, did shit.” Pidge said raising a brow at the half Galra man who didn’t seem phased.

“Look, I, personally don’t give a shit who did or didn’t do anything. Keith, Pidge has had enough shit happen today, you don’t need to be a prick about it. Pidge, you’re not exactly a saint, stop goading Keith.” Hunk finally spoke up with a sigh. Pidge sighed heavily.

“You’re right, I’m not exactly a saint. Sure, I did goad Zarkon quite a bit, until he actually started upping the dosages of the shit they kept giving me. I admit that scared the shit out of me. I don’t like being manipulated in any way or form, specifically being forced to hallucinate or feel a certain way. When he started drugging me into oblivion about two phoebes ago, I knew I was in trouble. He wasn’t on to what I was trying to accomplish, he was just tired of my answers, my attitude, specifically my mouth. I think he started to realize that I didn’t know anything useful. I panicked about a phoeb and a half ago, completely lost my shit in front of Thace. I knew Zarkon was trying in earnest to kill me out of sheer frustration.” Pidge paused before she touched the scar on her cheek. “It wasn’t until he started using a dull blade to draw blood that I actually started clamming up. By that time, I had just found out that I was pregnant, I didn’t tell anyone until I started actually panicking. Again the only person I had actually told was Thace. Krolia found out from Thace. And I’m sure you told Kolivan.” Pidge motioned for Keith to bring her Rolia. 

“I did, my apologies, but I felt our leader needed to know.” Thace said calmly as Keith came to Pidge and handed her the cooing and babbling baby. Pidge looked down at her daughter with a frown.

“Never in my life did I ever think I would be making a choice that could have such an impact on all of you. Maybe it’s best if I leave the team for good. Matt is smart, resourceful, and can hack better than I can. He would make a great Green Paladin.” Pidge paused as she hugged Rolia, eliciting small squeals of delight from the baby. 

“If you leave the team, Katie, what are you going to do?” Sam asked quietly.

“I don’t know. It’s only a matter of time before Zarkon sees the security footage. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes that Rolia exists. I would rather die than hand her over.” Pidge hesitated. “Zarkon knows where earth is. And I’m sure he will develop some way of tracking her.” Pidge sighed before she pulled Rolia away from her shoulder. Even though Pidge was frowning, Rolia seemed to take delight in reaching up to touch the markings on Pidge’s face. She made soft almost purring noises as she poked at Pidge.

“Katie, at least get some rest, you can’t make a decision when you’re exhausted and run into the ground.” Sam said gently. Pidge sighed.

“Fine. I feel like ass anyway.” Pidge grumbled as she looked to Colleen. “The least I can do is have her spend some time with the two of you while I sleep for a bit. Allura, if she gets fussy, wake me up so she can eat.” Pidge sighed as she reached over to hand Colleen the baby girl. Colleen smiled at Rolia who let out a squeal of glee at the sight of Colleen. 

“She looks like Pidge did when Pidge was a baby, doesn’t she?” Asked Matt with a grin. Colleen looked up with a smile.

“She does. I’m surprised you remember that, Matt.” Colleen sighed softly, “Hunk, Lance, I put a bag of clothes in Katie’s room. Make sure she gets cleaned up before she goes to bed. No funny business, Lance.” Colleen said as she rose a brow at the Cuban man. Lance chuckled.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Holt. Even in her condition, I’m sure Pidge could kick my ass.” Lance chuckled. Hunk sighed before he effortlessly scooped Pidge from her seat, causing her to give a short yelp of surprise. 

“No offense, Pidge, but you need to fatten up a bit. How much weight have you even lost anyway?” Hunk asked noting that despite just having a child she was unusually thin.

“Put me down, I can walk. And I have no idea, I haven’t exactly had the time or the energy to weigh myself since we got to space.” Pidge muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. Hunk sighed and set Pidge on her feet, taking one of her arms to steady her. 

“It’s the after effects of the Healing pod, you’re going to feel like you just got hit by a truck for a bit.” Hunk explained. Pidge gave a grunt of interest. 

“Fine. I want a shower first.” Pidge grumbled at Hunk. With that Hunk and Lance helped Pidge from the dining doom. Colleen sighed once Pidge was out of hearing range. 

“Sam, we can’t let her do this alone…” Colleen said quietly. Sam hummed his agreement.

“Pidge is going to do what she wants, no matter what, Colleen. The Paladins know it, you know it, we all know how Pidge is. She’s stubborn, headstrong, wicked clever, and she’s determined to do what she can to protect that which is precious to her. In her own way all of you mean the world to Pidge.” Said Krolia as she took Pidge’s empty seat. “I once had to make a decision similar to the one Pidge needs to make. I left my son on earth in hopes he would never be involved in this war. Yet, Keith somehow became a paladin before he joins the ranks of the Blades. Your daughter only wants to do what she believes is right. With the choice she makes there are both good and bad consequences. We all need to have faith in her.” Krolia said quietly. Colleen sighed looking at Rolia with a small smile.

“I stand by what I said. I don’t want her to do it alone. Sam has duties for the Garrison to tend to, by all rights I don’t have a position or anything that I need to tend to. Katie is above all, my daughter, and I know she’s dealt with more than her fair share of trauma, but I want to do what I can for her. And this sweet little girl.” Colleen smiled wider at Rolia who giggled heartily reaching up to touch Colleen’s face with a loud coo.

“The Blades of Marmora have several safe places Pidge could go to, that is if she’s serious that she has to leave.” Keith said carefully from behind Matt. 

“Other than Thace and myself, I don’t think Pidge wants anything to do with the Blades, Keith. She’s furious with you, and in a way, I think she’s right.” Krolia looked up to meet Keith’s gaze.

“When Keith left, Pidge took it on herself to keep the team together. She even managed to convince Shiro that he was part of the team and that the team needed Shiro as a leader. She did everything she could to ease everyone’s fears and insecurities. She was there for all of us when we all felt that Team Voltron was falling apart, Keith.” Allura said softly as she eyed Keith. Keith gave a saddened frown.

"I know. I abandoned Team Voltron. I can assure you, Allura, it will never happen again." Keith stated in a subdued tone.


End file.
